"You can’t ship that!!! They’re not even canon!"




(Source: laurengaybello)


when your mom says she’ll just be a minute



(Source: methedras)





boy, blowjobs sure are a mouthful

jeez, that pun was hard for me to swallow


thanks for your contribution


shout out to people wondering what the opposite of in is


what if 911 called you




what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?

one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails


So my awesome meatspace pal dreccleston tagged me for this and im gonna do it (doing the accent challenge i was tagged for too but that is coming later).

Replace with your own answers and then tag 10 people.

  • Name: Sarah
  • Nickname: i have none. no one has succeeded in nicknaming me anything that sticks. ever. 
  • Birthday: March 8th 1997
  • Gender: Female
  • Sexuality: straight, kinda (heterosexual and biromantic if we wanna get technical, although i still think it’s oversimplifying a bit)
  • Height:  5’5”
  • Time zone: Central
  • What time and date is it there: 10:41am/September 1st
  • Average hours of sleep I get a night: ehh… on average? around 7
  • Last thing I googled was: a picture of jason isaacs from 1995 (yes shh i know i wasnt born yet HES REALLY ATTRACTIVE OK)
  • Most used phrase(s): no worries (variants: no prob, relax, it’ll be fiiiiiine) 
  • First word that comes to mind: cathedral
  • What I last said to a family member: "If you can’t turn it off then I can’t and if you can then I shouldn’t have to!" (my brother wanted me to turn off a lamp for him instead of just turning it the fuck off himself because he wanted to stick me with turning off all the lights - i was be the last one up even though i wasnt using most of the ones he was)
  • One place that makes me happy and why: my lil spot just outside the basement of our mountain house. it’s perfect and beautiful and nobody ever knows where i am so ~*~perfect solitude~*~
  • How many blankets I sleep under: in winter i use like 5 (lizard blood) and in summer usually one to zero.
  • Favourite beverage(s): coffee, water, apple cider, good root beer, lemonade, mango juice
  • Last movie I watched in the cinema: gotg
  • Three things I can’t live without: music, alone time, food&water
  • A piece of advice to all my followers: if you think i dont wanna be friends with you THAT IS A LIE. approach me for friendship anytime and i promise i will talk to u
  • You all have to listen to this song: GUYS I JUST DISCOVERED DUTILLEUX -skip to 3:20 if you want the part i’m specifically recommending (it ends at 6:03)

Okay so I’m gonna tag some people… hm… chokocurry, candidlycara, hazelgracey, opheliaslostsong, bakaforsenpai, toomanyhannahs, samditch, thedoctorskhaleesi, doll-frakking-house, and pedrob23.